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Dancing at Your Wedding The Location The Music Dance Lessons for the Guests The First Dance When to Start Who Needs to Know What Final Thoughts on Dancing and Weddings
Dancing at Your Wedding Dancing of various forms is a part of the vast majority of weddings. Some couples choose to select a theme for their music and dancing for their event, while others simply request the deejay or band play whatever is popular. With the dancing tools that you have learned in this text, a little bit of forethought, and some practice, you have the makings for a highly enjoyable and entertaining reception. Because the first dance is such a large part of your own experience as the bride or groom, it will be addressed by itself a bit later in this chapter.
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The Location Although you can dance almost anywhere, please be sensitive to your surroundings and your guests. If possible, place the dance floor within the sight line of the vast majority of your guests. If by necessity you need to seat guests beyond the visual reach of the dance floor and festivities, try to arrange seating nearby so your guests can somewhat comfortably view such important events as the first dance, the father-daughter dance, and the mother-son dance. It's also recommended that you leave at least a foot between all edges of the dance floor and the nearest table. Dancers tend to spill off of the dance floor during the more lively tunes, whether they are freestyle dancing or couples dancing, and that extra little buffer of space usually gives them enough of a heads up before they hit someone.
The Music Whether you have a band or a deejay, take the time before the event to acclimate them a little bit to your crowd. If you know the crowd consists of slow starters, let the deejay or emcee know—sometimes they have some tricks to get the crowd going. If there is a particular type of music that really gets your cousins out on the dance floor, you should also educate your entertainment crew. Everyone has a better time when the correct music is played. Just in case, speaking from our own experience, provide a written list of the important names in the wedding party and how they are pronounced, as well as songs that you definitely want played or not played at your wedding. Don't be afraid of line dances, such as the Electric Slide. They can be invaluable for getting your crowd going. Just remember, your guests are taking their cues from you; if you aren't participating, they probably won't either. If you aren't sure what songs would be great to dance to, check out our Wedding music list for our personal recommendations and suggestions!
Dance Lessons for the Guests We have participated in several wedding celebrations where the bride and groom incorporated a dance lesson for their guests into the festivities. Before you scream budget on this one, we have found that it can actually save you some money on your bar bill if you are providing an open bar for your guests. Bored guests tend to drink more heavily, and their biggest beverage time is while you are otherwise occupied with photographs and signing wedding licenses.
A great lesson while you and your wedding party are tied up with the pictures can set the tone for the rest of the celebration. We've seen brides and grooms take this opportunity to introduce a theme for the event that might have otherwise been foreign to the guests at large. For instance, we've taught a salsa lesson prior to a Latin-themed dinner reception for which the bride had hired a great salsa band. The guests knew enough basics to hit the floor and boogie with the bride and groom. This group was especially clever because they allowed for enough time while the guests were being seated for the bridal party to have a mini-lesson in a side room after the main group lesson for the guests. That way, everyone was on the same foot, locals and out-of-town guests alike.
We've also seen the dance lesson incorporated into the reception following the first dances, but the success of this strategy depends on the bride and groom and immediate wedding party leading their guests onto the dance floor in participation. Otherwise, it can dramatically break the momentum of your reception.
Line dances or party dances can really get your party going if done correctly. These also depend on your participation and your immediate wedding party's participation. Your guests are taking their cues from you. Yes, there is more to party dancing than the chicken dance and the Macarena. Ask your deejay, and if he seems to be out of ideas, look for a local line-dance instructor. Most line-dance instructors have material for more than just country music. The line dances give your crowd an opportunity to shake a leg in a structured format without the pressure of couples dancing. They can also provide a good laugh and get everyone clapping and at least toe-tapping along. Again, a good instructor or deejay really makes the difference here.
Make sure the instruction is in short spurts and not for long periods—this will also let you gauge your audience. Another key ingredient is the quality of the group instruction. A deadpan or overwhelmed instructor can be disastrous for your reception. When you are considering a group lesson at your wedding, attend a group class or two of the instructors you are interviewing. Teaching a large group is different than performing and also different than giving private lessons. You are looking for someone with charisma, who is comfortable with a microphone, and who can put a large, diverse group at ease while still teaching them some dancing. Be choosy—it's your special event!
The First Dance Ahhhh, the first dance; your first opportunity to showcase each other as husband and wife following the ceremony has arrived. You have a variety of options that fall on a spectrum somewhere between walking onto the dance floor, embracing, and leaning into each other while swaying and learning an elaborately choreographed routine that you spent months preparing for the three minutes of fame during your first dance. Typically, the bride and groom are first-time dancers and simply want to look like they know what they're doing out on the dance floor.
Without making you into an expert, these next couple of paragraphs should provide you with enough insight into the dance and how to pull it off to make you look smooth without years of instruction. It's understood that you are event-driven, but don't overlook some basic factors that can help make your dance a success. Whether you're dancing a lead-and-follow dance, choreographing your dance, or having an instructor help you, there are certain elements that you should consider. Following is a listing of some of what you'll need to think about regarding your music and your dance:
When to Start You should at least start thinking about the dancing at your wedding, the first dance and otherwise, in the earliest stages of your wedding plans. Whether you want to have dancing at all will probably play an important role in your reception location as well as the time of day of your wedding.
If any dancing beyond the cursory first dance and father-daughter dance is not on your wish list at all, a brunch reception would probably suit you well and save you quite a bit of money in catering. However, if you want an evening reception with a rocking deejay on a Saturday night in June, you will need to plan further in advance and budget accordingly for everything. Chances are you won't be getting as many discounts from your vendors.
That being said, you do not need to start taking lessons the instant you set a date. Yes, you definitely want to allow yourself enough time, and most instructors recommend at least three months. However, we have taught many couples to dance the day before their wedding, and countless more the week before their wedding. There's nothing like a deadline to make people move! Yes, those last-minute learners were happy with their results at their receptions, but we don't recommend the extreme last minute to anyone. It is very nerve-wracking. The only up side is when you leave it to the last minute, although you don't really have much time to develop good muscle memory, you certainly don't have time to develop any bad dance habits either.
If you plan to learn from a video or, plan to start learning and adjusting to your music about six weeks in advance. This allows for plenty of practice time and tweaking of your music selection if necessary. If you are already under the wire time-wise, go for private lessons with a reputable instructor in your area. If the instructor is worth his salt, he should be able to polish the two of you up in a handful of sessions.
Who Needs to Know What As you coordinate with your wedding professionals, keep the channels of communication open. If you are doing a choreographed first dance or are at least planning to do a true lead-and-follow dance with actual moves other than the lean-'n-sway, you need to alert your deejay, videographer, photographer, and wedding coordinator or the manager/head server at your reception (if you have one). You will also need to let these same people know if you are planning to have a dance lesson or have a dancing crowd attending. These are all things that will impact the manner in which the aforementioned wedding professionals will conduct their business throughout your event. Your photographer and videographer will have much more to work with and should be able to provide you with a higher quality and more interesting end product, your deejay will probably do a little research based on your information and modify his playlist to better suit your party, and your wedding coordinator or your event planner for the reception facility might have a different recommendation for the layout or the food and beverage services you are providing for your guests. Trust us, if you have selected quality vendors, these people will be genuinely excited to be associated with a dancing wedding reception. Your guests will have more fun, whether or not they are dancing, and you will most likely have a better overall experience.
Do not forget to coordinate with your groom and your father as well as your dance instructor, brides! There is important information that these individuals need in order to create the ultimate first dance for you. Although it is perfectly acceptable and appropriate for you to maintain a sense of mystery about your dress, you will need to give your dance partners and your instructor some general ideas. For instance, if your dress is a sheath or mermaid-style dress, you will be gorgeous, but you will not be taking very many long steps, so waltz might not be your best option for a first dance. If your gown is off the shoulder, you will also need to let your partners and instructor know because this will inhibit your ability to lift your arm, and your turns will need to be modified accordingly by the choreographer. For those of you with strapless gowns, let your partners know that they need to be careful. We have seen brides come flying out of their tops courtesy of an overly zealous dip. It was hilarious for everyone but the bride. If the groom practices being careful beforehand, he has a better chance of success when he is nervous or has had a few drinks.
Return to top Final Thoughts on Dancing and Weddings As you plan and prepare for your big day, don't lose sight of the fact that your first dance, toasts, dress, flowers, music, and food are meant to be a celebration of your marriage to each other. Not one of the previously mentioned items should overshadow your union as a couple. Our three final tips are given in an effort to maintain the integrity of your dance and make it just another wonderful part of your big day that will live for some time in your memory and the memories of your guests as a beautiful moment that they shared with you.
Now that you and your future spouse have all the tools, hit the dance floor and make some memories! This is a special occasion into which hours upon hours of preparation and planning have been poured. If you don't know how to dance, wow your friends and family and learn. If you shake a leg effectively at your wedding, you will remember it for years to come with pride.
Below are a number of tips for wedding music and dancing at weddings and for dance lessons relating to the first dance and the reception/event. These topic areas were taken directly from our book,Picture Yourself Dancingand contain all legal copyrights.Copyright (C) 2006 Shawn Trautman. All Rights Reserved.