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If you're looking for great DVDs to go with your first dance,check it out!
Dancing at Your Wedding
The Location
The Music
Dance Lessons for the Guests
The First Dance
When to Start
Who Needs to Know What
Final Thoughts on Dancing and Weddings
Dancing
at Your Wedding
Dancing of various forms is a part of the vast majority of weddings.
Some couples choose to select a theme for their music and dancing for
their event, while others simply request the deejay or band play whatever
is popular. With the dancing tools that you have learned in this text,
a little bit of forethought, and some practice, you have the makings
for a highly enjoyable and entertaining reception. Because the first
dance is such a large part of your own experience as the bride or groom,
it will be addressed by itself a bit later in this chapter.
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The Location
Although you can dance almost anywhere, please be sensitive to your
surroundings and your guests. If possible, place the dance floor within
the sight line of the vast majority of your guests. If by necessity
you need to seat guests beyond the visual reach of the dance floor and
festivities, try to arrange seating nearby so your guests can somewhat
comfortably view such important events as the first dance, the father-daughter
dance, and the mother-son dance. It's also recommended that you leave
at least a foot between all edges of the dance floor and the nearest
table. Dancers tend to spill off of the dance floor during the more
lively tunes, whether they are freestyle dancing or couples dancing,
and that extra little buffer of space usually gives them enough of a
heads up before they hit someone.
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The Music
Whether you have a band or a deejay, take the time before the event
to acclimate them a little bit to your crowd. If you know the crowd
consists of slow starters, let the deejay or emcee know—sometimes
they have some tricks to get the crowd going. If there is a particular
type of music that really gets your cousins out on the dance floor,
you should also educate your entertainment crew. Everyone has a better
time when the correct music is played. Just in case, speaking from our
own experience, provide a written list of the important names in the
wedding party and how they are pronounced, as well as songs that you
definitely want played or not played at your wedding. Don't be afraid
of line dances, such as the Electric Slide. They can be invaluable for
getting your crowd going. Just remember, your guests are taking their
cues from you; if you aren't participating, they probably won't
either. If you aren't sure what songs would be great to dance to, check
out our Wedding music list for our personal recommendations and suggestions!
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Dance Lessons for the Guests
We have participated in several wedding celebrations where the bride
and groom incorporated a dance lesson for their guests into the festivities.
Before you scream budget on this one, we have found that it can actually
save you some money on your bar bill if you are providing an open bar
for your guests. Bored guests tend to drink more heavily, and their
biggest beverage time is while you are otherwise occupied with photographs
and signing wedding licenses.
A great lesson while you and your wedding party are tied up with the
pictures can set the tone for the rest of the celebration. We've seen
brides and grooms take this opportunity to introduce a theme for the
event that might have otherwise been foreign to the guests at large.
For instance, we've taught a salsa lesson prior to a Latin-themed dinner
reception for which the bride had hired a great salsa band. The guests
knew enough basics to hit the floor and boogie with the bride and groom.
This group was especially clever because they allowed for enough time
while the guests were being seated for the bridal party to have a mini-lesson
in a side room after the main group lesson for the guests. That way,
everyone was on the same foot, locals and out-of-town guests alike.
We've also seen the dance lesson incorporated into the reception following
the first dances, but the success of this strategy depends on the bride
and groom and immediate wedding party leading their guests onto the
dance floor in participation. Otherwise, it can dramatically break the
momentum of your reception.
Line dances or party dances can really get your party going if done
correctly. These also depend on your participation and your immediate
wedding party's participation. Your guests are taking their cues from
you. Yes, there is more to party dancing than the chicken dance and
the Macarena. Ask your deejay, and if he seems to be out of ideas, look
for a local line-dance instructor. Most line-dance instructors have
material for more than just country music. The line dances give your
crowd an opportunity to shake a leg in a structured format without the
pressure of couples dancing. They can also provide a good laugh and
get everyone clapping and at least toe-tapping along. Again, a good
instructor or deejay really makes the difference here.
Make sure the instruction is in short spurts and not for long periods—this
will also let you gauge your audience. Another key ingredient is the
quality of the group instruction. A deadpan or overwhelmed instructor
can be disastrous for your reception. When you are considering a group
lesson at your wedding, attend a group class or two of the instructors
you are interviewing. Teaching a large group is different than performing
and also different than giving private lessons. You are looking for
someone with charisma, who is comfortable with a microphone, and who
can put a large, diverse group at ease while still teaching them some
dancing. Be choosy—it's your special event!
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The First Dance
Ahhhh, the first dance; your first opportunity to showcase each other
as husband and wife following the ceremony has arrived. You have a variety
of options that fall on a spectrum somewhere between walking onto the
dance floor, embracing, and leaning into each other while swaying and
learning an elaborately choreographed routine that you spent months
preparing for the three minutes of fame during your first dance. Typically,
the bride and groom are first-time dancers and simply want to look like
they know what they're doing out on the dance floor.
Without making you into an expert, these next couple of paragraphs
should provide you with enough insight into the dance and how to pull
it off to make you look smooth without years of instruction. It's understood
that you are event-driven, but don't overlook some basic factors that
can help make your dance a success. Whether you're dancing a lead-and-follow
dance, choreographing your dance, or having an instructor help you,
there are certain elements that you should consider. Following is a
listing of some of what you'll need to think about regarding your music
and your dance:
-
The
song. Pick two or three “first dance” songs and work with
them during your dance lessons. You might find that one song is
much better to dance to than another as you practice your steps.
An extensive song database can be foundhere.
-
The
speed of the song.Is it too slow, too fast, or just right?
Dancing with your partner to the speed of the song is important
because you'll want to go with a speed you're comfortable with.
-
The
length of the song.Shorter is better! If you're able to,
try to keep the songless
thanthree minutes. If it's a band playing this might be difficult,
but if it's a deejay, it's possible to have him fade it. The old
saying about there being “too much of a good thing” is true when
it comes to the first dance. A long song makes everyone uncomfortable,
not just the bride and groom. Always leave your audience wanting
more!
-
The
words of the song.Make sure you're both comfortable with
the words that are used in your song. Don't just pick one because
you like the beat. Try to find a song that you'll always remember
and that either fits your relationship or fits what you'd like it
to become. Does the song just make you want to say “Awwwwwww!” every
time you hear it? If so, you might have found the perfect song for
the two of you.
-
Size
of the dance floor.
How
much space do you have to dance and where will your audience be?
This is critical in choosing your dance and picking your moves.
You don't want to do a very small dance (not much moving) on a very
large floor. By the same token, when you are dancing your first
dance please be aware of where your guests are. If they are on three
sides or completely surround the dance floor, please dance accordingly.
Your family and friends would like to see your glowing faces for
at least part of the dance.
-
What
you're wearing.
You should
always practice in something similar to what you'll be wearing at
your reception. If the bride is wearing a strapless dress, you should
practice in one so you'll both know the limitations. Ladies, it’s
imperative that you practice in the shoes you'll be wearing or ones
that are strikingly similar in height, feel, and heel size. Guys,
if you'll be wearing a coat the night of your dance, you should
practice in one.
-
The
entrance.
How will you walk
onto the dance floor, and will it be before the song or after the
song starts? For many songs, it might be best to walk out arm in
arm after your music starts and do a walking underarm turn and come
back to a quick, romantic kiss. Your entrance will appear choreographed
and will capture your audience's attention while filling up some
very valuable seconds.
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When to Start
You should at least start thinking about the dancing at your wedding, the first dance and otherwise, in the earliest stages of your wedding plans. Whether you want to have dancing at all will probably play an important role in your reception location as well as the time of day of your wedding.
If any dancing beyond the cursory first dance and father-daughter dance is not on your wish list at all, a brunch reception would probably suit you well and save you quite a bit of money in catering. However, if you want an evening reception with a rocking deejay on a Saturday night in June, you will need to plan further in advance and budget accordingly for everything. Chances are you won't be getting as many discounts from your vendors.
That being said, you do not need to start taking lessons the instant you set a date. Yes, you definitely want to allow yourself enough time, and most instructors recommend at least three months. However, we have taught many couples to dance the day before their wedding, and countless more the week before their wedding. There's nothing like a deadline to make people move! Yes, those last-minute learners were happy with their results at their receptions, but we don't recommend the extreme last minute to anyone. It is very nerve-wracking. The only up side is when you leave it to the last minute, although you don't really have much time to develop good muscle memory, you certainly don't have time to develop any bad dance habits either.
If you plan to learn from a video or, plan to start learning and adjusting to your music about six weeks in advance. This allows for plenty of practice time and tweaking of your music selection if necessary. If you are already under the wire time-wise, go for private lessons with a reputable instructor in your area. If the instructor is worth his salt, he should be able to polish the two of you up in a handful of sessions.
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Who
Needs to Know What
As you coordinate with your wedding professionals, keep the channels of communication open. If you are doing a choreographed first dance or are at least planning to do a true lead-and-follow dance with actual moves other than the lean-'n-sway, you need to alert your deejay, videographer, photographer, and wedding coordinator or the manager/head server at your reception (if you have one). You will also need to let these same people know if you are planning to have a dance lesson or have a dancing crowd attending. These are all things that will impact the manner in which the aforementioned wedding professionals will conduct their business throughout your event. Your photographer and videographer will have much more to work with and should be able to provide you with a higher quality and more interesting end product, your deejay will probably do a little research based on your information and modify his playlist to better suit your party, and your wedding coordinator or your event planner for the reception facility might have a different recommendation for the layout or the food and beverage services you are providing for your guests. Trust us, if you have selected quality vendors, these people will be genuinely excited to be associated with a dancing wedding reception. Your guests will have more fun, whether or not they are dancing, and you will most likely have a better overall experience.
Do not forget to coordinate with your groom and your father as well as your dance instructor, brides! There is important information that these individuals need in order to create the ultimate first dance for you. Although it is perfectly acceptable and appropriate for you to maintain a sense of mystery about your dress, you will need to give your dance partners and your instructor some general ideas. For instance, if your dress is a sheath or mermaid-style dress, you will be gorgeous, but you will not be taking very many long steps, so waltz might not be your best option for a first dance. If your gown is off the shoulder, you will also need to let your partners and instructor know because this will inhibit your ability to lift your arm, and your turns will need to be modified accordingly by the choreographer. For those of you with strapless gowns, let your partners know that they need to be careful. We have seen brides come flying out of their tops courtesy of an overly zealous dip. It was hilarious for everyone but the bride. If the groom practices being careful beforehand, he has a better chance of success when he is nervous or has had a few drinks.
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Final
Thoughts on Dancing and Weddings
As you plan and prepare for
your big day, don't lose sight of the fact that your first dance, toasts,
dress, flowers, music, and food are meant to be a celebration of your
marriage to each other. Not one of the previously mentioned items should
overshadow your union as a couple. Our three final tips are given in
an effort to maintain the integrity of your dance and make it just another
wonderful part of your big day that will live for some time in your
memory and the memories of your guests as a beautiful moment that they
shared with you.
-
Practice as if it's the big day.
Grooms should practice in a jacket and dress shoes. Brides should
practice in a long skirt or their crinoline, if possible, and their
wedding shoes. To protect your shoes from smudges or scuffs, cover
them with athletic socks while they are on your feet. If you plan
to wear a veil during your dance (not recommended), be sure to practice
with this as well. Once you are fairly comfortable with your steps,
try to practice in front of a friend to prepare you for dancing
in front of an audience.
As silly as it might sound, if you plan to drink at your reception, practice your dance after a few drinks. You want to at least be aware of what you'll look like, and you might need to modify some of the moves.
Finally, practice in front of a camera and/or video camera, especially if you're going to have a photographer or videographer at your wedding. At the end of your wedding, you're going to have three things: your memories, your photos, and your video. Your memories will be shaped by the two things are tangible (the photos and the video), so you really ought to invest some time in front of them before your debut.
-
Don't fight with each other.
Take it easy on each other during lessons and practice. As they say, it takes two to tango, and when something goes wrong, it is rarely one person's fault. You are a team and need to work together. Never compare yourself to one another or to the instructor. This should be a fun part of your wedding plans, so no fights!
-
Be honest.Be honest
with yourselves, your band leader/deejay, your dance instructor, and
anyone else who is involved in making your wedding decisions. If you
don't want to dance the entire song, don't. If you don't like a certain
move, don't do it. If you want to change songs, do it. It's your day
and your dance; you should feel comfortable.
Now that you and your future spouse have all the tools, hit the dance floor and make some memories! This is a special occasion into which hours upon hours of preparation and planning have been poured. If you don't know how to dance, wow your friends and family and learn. If you shake a leg effectively at your wedding, you will remember it for years to come with pride.
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Below are a number of tips for wedding music and dancing at weddings and for dance lessons relating to the first dance and the reception/event.
These topic areas were taken directly from our book,Picture Yourself Dancingand contain all legal copyrights.
Copyright (C) 2006 Shawn Trautman. All Rights Reserved.
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