Connection point 3 is typically the most visible part of a frame and the easiest to notice when it’s not correct. This connection point includes the lady’s left arm or elbow area and the man’s right arm and/or elbow. Connection point 3 is typically only accomplished once the partners have established connection point 2.  So, dancers, create Connection Point 2 with your parter. Now, ladies, let your left elbow lightly rest on the leader’s right arm. 

There should be a connection between the partners’ arms or, in better terms, there should not be any space between the two partners’ arms. Ladies, don’t mistake this connection point for a well-placed arm rest; rather, you should treat it as yet another sensor to help you interpret your partner’s bodily motions and plans. If the lady chooses to rest her arm completely on the man’s, it is only a matter of seconds before the man removes his arm from the dance position because the weight typically becomes unbearable. Ladies, don’t take it personally, but your arm—regardless of its size or weight—is heavy. Just know that anything additional on the leader’s arm is heavy when the leader already has to support holding his own arm up and his shoulder is probably burning just to keep it in place.

Ladies, if the guy’s right elbow is pointing downward to the ground rather than touching yours, do not leave yours up by itself. Drop your arm down just long enough to tap his elbow a time or two with yours, and then move it up. He should get the hint—if not, try it again. Try to avoid having great frame while your partner doesn’t. Nothing is easier to spot than a follower holding her own on the floor when the man’s posture or frame leaves something to be desired. Frankly, it just makes both of you look sloppy because the intent of social dancing is to look good as a couple, regardless of who you’re dancing with.

Now try to put all three of the connection points together. First, start with connection point 1, then connection point 2, and then number 3. Now try just connection points 2 and 3. Excellent! Now, try the exercise where you close your eyes and go through the motions, but this time, use all three connection points. Does it feel different? It should be more secure. It’ll get even better with the fourth one, coming up next.